What to Wear to Pakistani Wedding

For a foreigner, figuring out what to wear to a Pakistan wedding can either be a great delight or a big headache. The first time I went to a wedding in Lahore, I wore the wrong kind of clothes on each and every function! These tips should help you avoid making the same faux pas. Many of the same traditions take place in India, particularly in Muslim weddings. The way people dress in Bollywood films is a pretty good representation of what the upper class would wear to weddings in Pakistan.


The Basics

Pakistani weddings generally take place over three to four days. You have three major functions: mehndi, barat, and walima. These may be preceded by a more intimate function called the mayun, to which only close friends and relatives are invited. You may also attend a mungni, engagement party, or a dolki, dance party, well in advance of the main functions.

While in the West it is only the bride who really gets decked out for her wedding, in Pakistan everyone dresses to impress. Ladies attending a wedding may get their hair done, make-u applied, hands painted and body waxed at the beauty parlor on the day of the event. The closer you are to the family, the more expensive clothing you should wear. Many times immediate family members get new sets of jewelry custom made for each day of the wedding. Most people prefer to wear new sets of clothes for each function as well. You are expected to spend more on making yourself look good than on giving a present to the bride and groom. It is important that the closer you are to the bride or groom, the more expensive and extravagant your clothing should be. If you do not dress appropriately, it will be seen as an insult to the family. You may get away with it if you're a foreigner, but you will certainly feel out of place if you are not dressed to the hilt.

Ladies in Pakistan match everything, so when shopping for wedding clothes you must make sure to match a purse, shoes, bangles and jewelry to your suit. Taking a swatch of the fabric with you while shopping can help with matching.

Read more and see photos here

Pastel Trio

When we went on our trip to Pakistan's Northern Areas in early September, the guys all decided to wear shalwar kameez. They did not, however, discuss what colors they were going to wear. The fact that they ended up in cotton candy colors is hilarious.

This photo was taken when we were held up by a landslide blocking the road. It took 24 hours just to get from Rawalpindi to Gilgit, when it normally takes about 14 to 16 hours. Although the guys tried to blend in, we still looked pretty "ghora." (foreign)

The Story of the Beggars

I've recently started giving out little packets to beggars I meet in the street, at traffic lights, or knocking on my door. So far, I've had some interesting reactions. Some have been encouraging, others not so much. Here's the latest:

Newspaper Boy

A young boy selling newspapers on Walton Road seemed quite excited to get a toothbrush, soap and toothpaste. His stone faced expression turned into a huge smile when he accepted the bag.

Whistle Man

After I gave the bag to the newspaper boy, a man started frantically blowing a whistle and staring at our car. My friend Ericka said, "I think he wants one too," so down went the window and I beckoned him over. He asked if there was food inside, and at this point I didn't have the wheat so there wasn't. Nevertheless, he seemed happy and continued blowing his whistle with a smile and salute as we drove off.

Turbaned Old Man

I spotted a crippled old man in a white turban in Defence market and called him over to my window. His eyes lit up when I gave him the bag, and as I smiled, I realized my folly in giving a toothless old man a toothbrush! Although he probably didn't have much use for the toothbrush, he hobbled off with a gleam in his eyes.

Street Salesman

I offered a bag of wheat to a street salesman who had small cleaning cloths on offer. He wasn't interested and scowled at me as if I had wasted his precious stop light time. I decided not to offer things to men who were already holding a lot of stuff.

Whining Woman

There is an old woman who sometimes sits outside of Pace in Y Block, DHA. She's always moaning and complaining about food, and she'll follow you to your car and press her face against the window until you drive off. She constanly invokes Allah and tries to look as pathetic as possible. I gave her some wheat, and she kept going on and on about food. I said, "Dekho, yih khana hai!" (Look this is food!) even though I'd already told her it was wheat and she had seen it. It seemed that she actually did not want food, but wanted money. A few others have actually refused to take wheat and have asked for money instead.

Sticker Boy

Usually I run and hide in my car before the little boys selling stickers can get to me. This time I happily gave him a hygiene kit and some wheat. I don't think he'd ever seen a toothbrush, so I had to explain how to use and how he shouldn't swallow the toothpaste. He grinned from ear to ear and asked me, "Sticker lena?" (Take a sticker?) I declined, say bye and was on my way with more wheat packs ready in the back seat.

Lost in Translation

Yesterday the maid was really harping on me for a raise. As I've said in previous posts, she is already overpaid compared to the domestic help of anyone else I know. She kept telling me to please ask "bhai jan" about the raise. Bhai jan means something like "dear brother" and that's how she refers to my husband Duarte. I told her she had a good salary and we weren't going to give a raise. Then I sent her off with some wheat flour that I'd picked up to distribute to the poor.

Now today I watched her interact with Duarte. He said he thought she might have asked him about a raise, but he doesn't understand Urdu save a few words like tea, water, hot, cold, and things like that. He certainly can not discuss salaries and raises in Urdu. Well, what he tends to do when he doesn't understand is to say "thik hai," which means "ok." So here the maid was asking for a raise, and he was saying ok! No wonder she won't let me have any peace about it.

Ramadan in Lahore: Fasting, Feasting, or Both?

This is a result of a team effort by three Americans who are crazy enough to call Lahore their primary place of residence.

Props to:

Coty Coleman:The Photographer

Matt Dickey: The Driver

Heather Carreiro: The Visionary/Producer

One of the most amusing things to outsiders about the month of Ramadan is that it is a much, if not more, a month of feasting than it is of fasting. Shops and schools close early. People meet up with friends and family nightly to enjoy breaking the fast together. Many workers and drivers are grumpy during daylight hours because they've stayed up most of the night eating. Some people flip-flop their entire schedules around, eating during the night and sleeping during the day. The boldest proof of this lifestyle can be found on the "All You Can Eat" billboards for Lahore's most exclusive restaurants. Here is a sample of three photos, click on the album link to see the whole project.

From Ramadan in Lahore: Fasting, Feasting or Both?

From Ramadan in Lahore: Fasting, Feasting or Both?

From Ramadan in Lahore: Fasting, Feasting or Both?